Proceed With Caution!

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Ok, this blog is predominantly about fashion but I’m also going to air some grievances. It’s my blog, I’m entitled! Ever since I’ve had bub I’ve noticed that random strangers feel they have the right to give you their advice and tell you what to do? Now, with the MIL this is fairly standard procedure that you come to expect but not from someone you don’t even know??? Case in point, I was walking my bub minding my own business on a glorious sunny day and a woman came over to me and asked me point blank why my son wasn’t wearing a hat? I stood there for a minute and thought pick your battles, this lady is older than you. So I took the polite route explaining that he needed the Vitamin D as I am Afro-Caribbean, thinking this should suffice but no! She told me I was wrong and was quite adamant. She said that in her culture babies wore hats. Her culture was completely different to mine and this is the point that she was clearly missing. Our conversation went rapidly downhill as I’m sure you can imagine.

But this isn’t the only time a random has stuck their oar in. I’ve had it happen on a few occasions. One woman went as far as pulling the hood of my pram over and another actually asked me if my son was my baby??? My son’s skin colour is lighter than mine. Neither of those examples ended well either. There is something about a baby that makes people think they can say whatever they want!

I was never into babies prior to meeting my husband. I was one of those people who rolled their eyes when a baby came on the plane or who feigned interest when a friend showed me umpteenth pictures of theirs. But now I get it, I have officially turned into a proud doting mum and I love it. I would never dream of going up to a stranger and offering them unwanted advice about their child. So why do some think it’s ok to push their opinions on us? I found that with motherhood comes fierce protectiveness like a lioness with her cub. You must be either very brave or very stupid to approach a mother and imply that you know better. So step away from my baby randoms or things could get ugly!


21 Comments

  • Yep I think we have all been there. I remember with my first (12 years ago) I had been shopping for a few hours and he had been great but was clearly getting over it when a lady I know asked him if he wanted a lolly she had. This old man turned around and said “He needs a good smack on the bum thats what he needs!” I just looked at him and said thank you for that very helpful advice. And I swear it was only a whinge, not even a full blown tantrum! I went away wondering how many times he went out shopping with an 18 month old!

  • Ang says:

    This is so true. People think they have the right to make judgements and comments. They should really step back and keep their opinions to themselves.
    One day my husband had the twins in the pram out for a walk and was standing on the footpath talking to a friend he met along the way when a lady driving past actually pulled over and wound her window down and said “Excuse me, the sun is shinning in your sons eyes!’
    Can you believe it. My hubby said he was dumbfounded. Esp as he looked and the sun was no where near my sons face.
    Arrgghh people hey!

  • Some people are particularly special aren’t they? Though I have been pretty lucky and not had to face too many stupid comments or what not

  • My girls are full siblings but look completely different. Strangers have no problem asking if they are full sisters or a different fathers. I am always surprised. Rachel

  • I know, how rude is it when perfect strangers assume to know more than you about your own child! I was so sick of constantly engaging in fruitless arguments so I started to employ the polite smile and “Haha yeah…” and walk away, no matter what they’ve said. It feels good!

  • I’ve been lucky enough to not have had to experience questions and statements from randoms.
    I think i’d get very frustrated if someone told me i was doing something wrong, and i thought differently.

  • Kebeni says:

    mother bear can come out rather ferociously at times LOL
    As you say , pick your battle. These women are not doing this to be malicious but because at the end of the day they care. Yes, they are ignorant and need to get a life but hey, we all do at times.

  • Grace says:

    God, people can be so rude, can’t they? I have a list as long as my arm with the number of times people have made stupid comments about the twinlets.
    I’m of Indonesian background and my husband is caucasian.
    I had a lady come up to me and ask me if I had any babysitter friends that I could recommend for her daughter and her children because it seemed I was doing such a great job at “looking after these boys”
    Um, lady…that’s because they’re MINE…

  • carmen says:

    Oh you have to love those people!
    I was out shopping with my 3 youngest one day and an old acquaintance stopped me to chat… and asked if I was babysitting for a friend. I said the children were mine, she looked at my redheaded, fair skinned daughter and blonde headed, fair skinned son and laughed. She said she could see the olive skinned, brown haired lad was mine but seriously?
    UGH!!
    But I’m known to just walk away… their ignorance, not mine! 🙂

  • Happens to me all the time! I’ve had people tell me off for not putting enough layers on baby C and asking personal questions about how long I’ll breastfed for. Worst lately was an old lady asking if baby was an accident because of close age gap. RUDE!!

  • Some people just don’t get it do they? I think we’ve all had our share of unwanted advice from strangers (and the MIL) but my policy is “don’t ask, don’t tell”. If someone wants some advice, they will generally ask for it, or start a conversation about the topic. Otherwise, they probably don’t want your advice (or pushyness!)

  • Lisa H says:

    Some people are incredibly rude. I wouldn’t even contemplate telling another parent what to do, even if I knew I were right! 😉
    I used to get a lot of comments when my kids were small, mostly because back then I was still a kid myself. Now when people tell me I don’t look old enough to be their mother, I simply say “I’m not!”

  • It is an extraordinarily brave or mores the point stupid thing to do. It is also very odd! Thanks for linking up for Flash Blog Friday again 🙂

  • My absolute favourites are the people who simply must give you their expert opinion…but have never had a child themselves. Please, tell me I am not the only magnet for these know-it-all individuals?

  • Nee Say says:

    I find it so bizarre that people think this is ok to do! Especially to a complete random. Something about babies obviously makes people forget their social boundaries!! Thanks for linking with Monday’s Minutia x

  • Kacie says:

    How annoying are those people… I was shopping in a market with my one week old son one rainy morning and a man told me I shouldn’t have a baby out in the cold weather. I said to him I had managed to keep one child alive for 3 years so far, this one should be fine too.

  • Thankfully this hasn’t happened to me yet, maybe because I refuse to make eye contact with most people that even look like they might say something to me! But if anyone ever does they better look out coz I have no problems telling a random stranger where the eff to go!

  • Thanks to everyone for all your wonderful comments and support. Apologies for not responding individually. I really appreciate all of you for taking the time to respond to my post. Mama S x

  • Krystle says:

    It’s truly bizarre isn’t it? I find it especially odd because since having my own kids, I feel like I kind of have how they work figured. But as for other peoples kids/babies, I haven’t a clue. I was recently holding a friends newborn and felt very unqualified once they started to wimper (despite having had 2 babies). I simply cannot imagine what goes through those random strangers’ minds that prompts them to comment. . .

  • Jacana says:

    Well written – totally agree with you – I scored armfulls of advice when my son was a baby in the pram. I also hated people putting their faces into the pram.

  • Jackie K says:

    Very true! When my girls were babies I was often amazed how many people would walk up and pull back the blanket covering the pram to have a look! Most people were absolutely lovely I have to say, but we all get our share of unwanted advice.
    On the sunhat thing, that’s like at our kids’ school there was a Sudanese girl in my daughter’s class last year who never wore her hat; her parents clearly didn’t think it was needed, and the teachers always made her sit in the shade. I know rules are rules, but I often thought of her. So much of our health and medical advice is culturally specific and we don’t realise it.

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