Having a baby at 46? Read on..
Sara is an old friend of mine from London. I actually met her here in Australia years ago and she has since moved back to the UK.
I always catch up with her when I go home and I knew all about her struggle to have a baby. I burst into tears when she told me she was pregnant and I can’t wait to meet her beautiful daughter in July.
Pregnancy after 40 isn’t uncommon. Sara’s story is miraculous and I am so pleased that she agreed to share it with you.
If you have ever asked the question, ‘Can I be pregnant at 46?’ Here is your answer…
Having a Baby at 46 Naturally – My Friend Shares Her Story
I’ve always been a late starter in life, but I often wonder how I ended up only beginning to try for a baby at the age of 42. My twenties were a whirl of late nights, flitting between various countries, and generally being as irresponsible as you can be in your twenties.
I never dismissed children, but I just assumed they would come naturally when I ‘settled down’. By the time I’d moved into my thirties my life was definitely calmer, but the years seemed to whizz by while I was still dating unsuitable men. I yearned to settle down, but I just hadn’t met the right man. It certainly wasn’t because I was too career orientated or too picky, I was childless by circumstance and I was hitting forty.
Heartbroken and single again at 41, I tried to bury the dream of having a family at the back of my mind as it was looking distinctly like it was not going to happen for me. Eventually I picked myself up and after another spate of internet dating I finally met Mr. Right. Paul was tall, handsome, kind and made me laugh. He was definitely a keeper!
I was now 42 and the relationship progressed quite quickly. Within three months we were living together. I had convinced myself by this stage that pregnancy was well off the table due to my age, and having previously suffered from PCOS and Endometriosis. A doctor had told me at the age of 33 to not even bother trying to get pregnant naturally. I still remember coming out of his surgery and facing a photo collage of babies and bursting into tears.
To my utter amazement I actually fell pregnant within three months of meeting Paul, but six weeks later I miscarried. I wasn’t particularly surprised as I knew the odds were low and quite a few friends had also miscarried before going on and having their children. I bounced back quite quickly and I was delighted when two months later I was pregnant again.
The second miscarriage at ten weeks was painfully grim and I remember bleeding heavily while on my hand and knees in the A&E waiting room at 4am while the staff were busy dealing with drunks. What followed was a period of depression, over eating, weight gain, and the misery of staying in a job I hated just so I wouldn’t lose my maternity benefits.
I started to become obsessed with getting pregnant again and went down the usual route of alternative therapies which included acupuncture, reflexology, hypnotherapy, visualization and buying endless pregnancy and ovulations tests. At one low point I even took some un-prescribed Clomid that a friend gave me (which completely screwed up my cycle).
I eventually jumped at a redundancy offer from the job I was so unhappy in, and once the stress was removed I fell pregnant twice more, but both ended in miscarriage at six and eight weeks.
Another year passed by and I married my lovely man a week after my 45th birthday. Forty-five was my mental cut-off date and I knew I had to start the process of letting go of my baby dream. I’d started to feel like I’d lost myself and didn’t recognize who this overweight person was looking back at me.
At the beginning of 2015 I decided to get back to me again so I hit the gym, made up smoothies for breakfast and starting drinking Aloe Vera after it was recommended for its health benefits. I’d convinced Paul that we should get a dog who could be our child replacement and I started researching suitable breeds.
A few weeks passed and after initially feeling better, I started to get the familiar sensations that I remembered from my last pregnancies. I took a test which turned out negative and I started to wonder if I was heading towards early menopause.
A week later I was at the hospital getting diagnosed for arthritis in my shoulder when I popped to the shops afterwards and picked up another pregnancy test. This time it was positive. I would like to say that I jumped for joy, but I actually felt a wave of despair descend over me as I felt I couldn’t mentally and physically go through with another miscarriage just when I was starting to feel good again.
At eleven weeks Paul and I flew from the UK to Sydney on a pre-arranged holiday and also did a tour of New Zealand. I ended up having my twelve-week scan in Sydney and I took the GeneSyte test which was worth every penny as it put our minds at peace. I will never forget the joy of the call from the clinic with the news that everything was going to be ok and that we were having a little girl. I was having a baby at 46 years old!
My pregnancy was actually pretty textbook despite being an ‘older woman’, but I was anxious the whole way through and terrified that this miracle would be taken away from me at any moment. Every time I went to the bathroom I would hold my breath in case there was bleeding, and I only shared my news with a few close friends at three months. I became quite skilled at hiding my bump in photos on Facebook and it wasn’t until I felt that my baby might have a chance of surviving if she was born early that I eventually went public at seven months.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story of hope Sara! I’m so happy for you! So there we are ladies, having a baby at 46 is the new 36!